"So you don't get too lost in the chaos.": NYC guide for my good friend and college roommate.

Welcome to NEW YORK CITY!

Congratulations, you made it to the city of mistakes and high achievements.
This place laughs in all the other civilizations' faces.

Few suggestions before heading out into the concrete jungle. These are things I learned from long-time residents and personal experience. So throw out any doubts you have of this guide, and listen up tourist! If you follow most of these you will inadvertently trick people into thinking you are not a tourist because after reading this you will somewhat have the moral code of conduct under your belt.

  1. Bring a pen + notebook out to enhance your experience with the other humans of NY. It’ll help you exchange information with people you strike up conversations with. If you bump into anyone there, they probably have a little empire of their own. Every social interaction is a networking opportunity.

  2. Buy a metrocard for the two of you to use. The subway costs $2.75, no matter how long you stay underground.

  3. If you don’t know where a train is going, ask a conductor as they pop their head out of the train. They will know more about where the train is going than the common folk. Sometimes the train will read a different name than what your GoogleMaps will tell you should be arriving. E.g. I was waiting for a C train on a C train platform, but a M train arrived at the platform instead. I thought to myself, “M Trains do not stop at that station!” I hesitated and decided not to get on it. Turned out to be a C train in disguise. I ended up waiting an extra 30 minutes for the next train. This happens, a lot. Right now the MTA is going through a massive change in infrastructure. Trains can change their destinations while you’re on them. Pay attention to the announcements, even if they sound like Charlie Brown’s teacher (“raawwwrawwrawrawraw”).

  4. Check out Manhattan first, then Brooklyn. You will greatly appreciate both for what they are: universes, different in their own right. Both are complex, yet the living culture of Brooklyn is more explicitly diverse than in Manhattan.

  5. NYC is known for its culinary capital. Try something different every meal.

  6. Don’t museum yourself too much. I haven’t even been to them all because the people themselves are artifacts of the larger planet. Many of them are immigrants and have come a long way. Every Uber driver, waiter/waitress, museum visitor service associates, pretty much everyone, except for the MTA workers (they’re usually born & raised in NY).

  7. Be patient when riding the subway, like don’t be too eager to sit down or push to get in. Just be agile.

  8. This may sound like I’m being dramatic, but trust me on this: apologize if someone aggressively yells at you for nothing. This can help calm them down once they realize they are yelling at an innocent bystander. This city makes people stressed and anxious, (sometimes paired with drugs) few go into panic-attack induced psychosis and wander around in a heightened state of anxiety. Kindness & compassion is key.

Places to See

Here is a list of places to check out. It does not include everything there is to do, but it’s a handful.
 

I recommend signing up to a Big Onion Tour, they offer small-sized walking tours led by history grad students for $25, and include admissions to historically significant buildings around NYC & Brooklyn.

Also, here is an online arts+culture map: https://www.nyc-arts.org/map

City-wide business hours for museums + exhibit spaces: closed Mondays & Tuesdays for administrative activities.


Manhattan

UPPER EAST & UPPER WEST


MIDTOWN EAST


EAST VILLAGE (a.k.a GREENWICH VILLAGE)


CHELSEA

  • New Georges (Since 1992, New Georges, an Obie-winning nonprofit theater company, has steadily gained a reputation as an innovative producer of ambitious new plays by women.)

  • The Highline (Revitalized train tracks, with art & botany dispersed along the trail.)

  • Chelsea Market (Many options for food here. I recommend asking around for Los Mariscos, a hidden Mexican restaurant in the market) Address:  409 W 15th St.)

  • Whitney Museum of American Art (Big-name Art exhibits)


LOWER MANHATTAN


LOWER EAST SIDE

  • The Hole (Lesser-known experimental art exhibits + gallery)


TRIBECA

  • China Blue (Shanghainese cuisine, 135 Watts St.)

  • World Trade Center Memorial (This site is a time capsule.)

  • Grand Banks Oyster Boat (New York City used to be a huge oyster producer. It was a common snack sold on the street. This changed with the introduction of sewage outlets into the Hudson River & East River. People began fearing food-borne illnesses, like typhoid. Health of the waters has improved, and with policy reflecting a movement toward rehabilitating and revitalizing oyster beds along the harbor, oysters are coming back in full force in NY. I recommend going on a boat tour with Grand Banks to get the sights & food of the harbor.

 

Cross the Brooklyn Bridge walkway to my fam’s homeland & favorite burrough.

Brooklyn


Brooklyn was a site of whisky distillation before the Prohibition. NYC & Brooklyn were places of underground prohibition resistance, running illegal distilleries & speakeasies. My own great, great, great grandmother was a bootlegger and ran her own empire of alcohol distribution along four different properties along Pacific Street located in what is known as the neighborhood of Park Slope. She sold the properties long ago. Funny enough, my sister accidentally moved into a building down the street from where my grandfather’s family (the original Schalhoubs) grew up. The circle of life. Today, Park Slope is one of the wealthiest zipcodes in NYC & the USA. People have converted carriage houses into beautiful properties. Norah Jones lives in a carriage house on Pacific Street.

DUMBO


Brooklyn Heights / Carroll Gardens / Boerum Hill / Gowanus / Clinton Hill

  • Brooklyn Historical Society Pierrepont (This is the original site of the historical society. They have three-four exhibits opened at a time. Go in to see the Othmer library, a national interior landmark of the US, which has changed very little since 1863. It houses an ever-growing archive of residential and commercial artifacts & documents donated to the society for preservation. I worked here as well! Go in and say hello. Museum + Shop opened Wednesday - Sunday, 12pm to 5pm. Library opened  Wednesday - Sunday, 1pm to 5pm. The institution operates on grants + donations from trustees. A small admission fee is suggested to the public, but it is pay as you wish, which means FREE if you do not desire to donate. This is a general rule across all museums except the biggest like the MET, so look out for the word “suggested” or “recommended”.)

  • Bedouin Tent (Middle Eastern food, $. Atlantic Ave used to be a haven for a large Lebanese & Syrian community, but many like my own family moved away to the ‘Burbs & New Jersey. Still, a community remains here, and it is being encroached by a gentrifying body of commerce & young creative-types. You will noticed as you walk down Atlantic Ave. many stores owned by Muslims, and around evening time, you will hear the call to prayer.)

  • BAM Theaters (A collection of theaters around a block. The Harvey theater is a revival of a historic 1904 venue showcasing avant-garde theater performances in a classical space.

  • Theater for a New Audience (off-broadway, focused on producing Shakespeare and other classic dramas)

  • BRIC Arts & Media (Art exhibits, events & performances by visiting and local artists.)

  • Fort Greene Park (Park on a hill. Like the UBC Knoll but on a much larger scale! For the views of Downtown Brooklyn & the Prison Ship Martyrs Memorial, the American Revolution graveyard.)  

  • Ample Hills Creamery (Brooklyn ice cream. There are many shops around Brooklyn. Stop by the one on the Pier along the Waterfront while you’re in DUMBO. If you go to Gowanus to see the infamous Gowanus Canal, stop by the shop over there.

  • Mekelburg’s (My old place of work. Very accommodating staff. You will feel the hustle & bustle of Brooklyn in this little cellar bar. Here you can get a drink from their ever-changing list of beer on tap and limited can rotation. Tell a bartender you’re my college roommate, and they might give you a free shot of whisky with your drink, that is, if it’s not a bartender I made enemies with...The walk to this spot is arduous, but you will pass many local brownstones that have long-time nesters. The city’s most expensive properties are in this Clinton Hill neighborhood.)

 

Prospect Heights / Greenwood

 

Coney Island

Take a train straight to Coney Island. Visit Luna Park for rides, visit the boardwalk at Brighton Beach.

writing, guide, travelAudrey Schalhoubletter, guide, do whatever you want with this